...And in the air, the fireflies, our only light in paradise. We'll show the world that they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along; singing Amen I, I'm alive. Amen I, I'm alive...

- Nickelback, If Everyone Cared

For All The Right Reasons Album



And I'm singing Aaa-ayyy-men, I'm alive!







William Leonidas November 12th, 2009
My only regret is that I cried so many tears while I waited for you.


"...I'll try ~ but it's so hard to believe. I'll try ~ but I can't see what you see. I'll try and try to understand the distance between the love I feel ~ the thing I fear ~ and every single dream. I can finally see it. Now I have to believe all those precious stories. All the world is made of faith ~ and trust ~ and pixie dust. So I'll try ~ because I finally believe. I'll try ~ because I can see what you see. I'll try, I'll try ~ to fly..."

Jonatha Brooke "I'll try"


Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10




Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Jeremiah 1:4-5




For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14



Monday March 5th, 2010

So Why Stinkerie?



It's simple, really. It's the first thing I whispered against my newborn little Dumpling's temple as I held him alone for that very first time. "There's my Little Stinkerie." And all was right with the world as I brushed my lips across his delicate dewy soft newborn-pink skin and sniffed at his sparse smattering of downy soft hair. Corny and sappy, huh? I can't help it when describing my new Little Puppy. But don't get used to it - I have been told I am "irreverent."



Anyway, it just came out and he's been Stinkerie ever since. As well as Stink Pie, Stink Pot, Stinkey Pete, Little Stinks, Stinks, Puppy, Ducky, Baby, Baby Head, Baby Head Jenkins, Jack, Jack-Jack, Jackie Boy, Jax, Snork, Snorkis, Snorkle, Billy Boy, Billy Bob, Bobby Sue, Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob, Will, Willie, Willister, and the name given by my mentor turned friend Beth - Snake. When I write to her I call him either The Snakester or Slither! And of course, Dumpling, because he is my Little Dumpling - warm and soft and comforting. It's alright to combine comfort food with baby names, right? Have you ever watched the movie Where the Heart Is? If you have, you'll know why I mention this in my defense!



Long story short, you're likely to encounter any one or more of these names in a single post. Because I can. It's my blog!





Something to Consider

Bad decisions make good stories.

Something to Think About

With any pregnancy, there are concerns. With any child, there are worries. When you have a diagnosis of Down syndrome, you know what to worry about. You know what to look for. You have a plan of action. With your typical child, there is no limit to the things that can 'go wrong' or 'happen.' There's no place to focus your worry and concerns. 'IT' will always be out there, waiting. You'll always be on guard. Even when the child is 55 and has grandchildren. With Down syndrome we have a battle plan. With Down syndrome, there is a finite number of things that can go awry. With a typical child, there's isn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm sticking with the Ds and taking the other two back to the hospital for a refund.

Head Above Water


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Thursday, April 2, 2009

So how did THAT happen?

The honest answer is that I don't know! After failing to get pregnant on our own for about a million years, we turned to fertility treatment to conceive our daughter and son. Our daughter was about to turn 10 and our son was 6 1/2. We were done. Finished. Complete. Or so we thought. Infertile? Yeah...turns out not so much!

I'd mentioned to a girlfriend late one night in March that I felt pregnant. With my last period being on March 1st, really, how pregnant could I feel? But still, I knew. The rabbit died. I was knocked. I'd stubbed my toe. I was in the family way.

No...that can't be right! I'd just turned 44 in February. Surely this was just the first signs of menopause, right? Nope. I was unwilling to wait any longer on April 2nd, so as soon as The Dear Daddy walked in the door, I stowed the kids with him and ran off to Wal-Mart to buy dog food. And a pregnancy test.

And 30 minutes later, there it was. Two pink lines? No...not these days. Pee tests have come quite far since I was last in the market for them. I'd hidden in the bathroom and had done my thing on the stick and now it was apparently doing it's thing...a little clock was blinking at me. And then it wasn't. Instead, there was a bold capitalized blinking word in it's place. >PREGNANT< >PREGNANT< >PREGNANT< >PREGNANT< >PREGNANT<

Enter the soon to be 10 year old. No knocking. Just entering. "Mom, what's that?" she asks, eyeing the little stick. "Go get your Dad," I say while trying to block her from getting a better view while simultaneously maintaining a safe distance between myself and that danged stick. Enter the Dear Daddy. He sees the stick and the flashing message. Enter the daughter. "Get out!" we say in unison. He stares at the stick. "How do you feel?" he asks. "Well...how do you feel?" I ask. He says "I don't know..."
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