...And in the air, the fireflies, our only light in paradise. We'll show the world that they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along; singing Amen I, I'm alive. Amen I, I'm alive...

- Nickelback, If Everyone Cared

For All The Right Reasons Album

And I'm singing Aaa-ayyy-men, I'm alive!

William Leonidas November 12th, 2009
My only regret is that I cried so many tears while I waited for you.

"...I'll try ~ but it's so hard to believe. I'll try ~ but I can't see what you see. I'll try and try to understand the distance between the love I feel ~ the thing I fear ~ and every single dream. I can finally see it. Now I have to believe all those precious stories. All the world is made of faith ~ and trust ~ and pixie dust. So I'll try ~ because I finally believe. I'll try ~ because I can see what you see. I'll try, I'll try ~ to fly..."

Jonatha Brooke "I'll try"

Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Jeremiah 1:4-5

For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14

Monday March 5th, 2010

So Why Stinkerie?

It's simple, really. It's the first thing I whispered against my newborn little Dumpling's temple as I held him alone for that very first time. "There's my Little Stinkerie." And all was right with the world as I brushed my lips across his delicate dewy soft newborn-pink skin and sniffed at his sparse smattering of downy soft hair. Corny and sappy, huh? I can't help it when describing my new Little Puppy. But don't get used to it - I have been told I am "irreverent."

Anyway, it just came out and he's been Stinkerie ever since. As well as Stink Pie, Stink Pot, Stinkey Pete, Little Stinks, Stinks, Puppy, Ducky, Baby, Baby Head, Baby Head Jenkins, Jack, Jack-Jack, Jackie Boy, Jax, Snork, Snorkis, Snorkle, Billy Boy, Billy Bob, Bobby Sue, Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob, Will, Willie, Willister, and the name given by my mentor turned friend Beth - Snake. When I write to her I call him either The Snakester or Slither! And of course, Dumpling, because he is my Little Dumpling - warm and soft and comforting. It's alright to combine comfort food with baby names, right? Have you ever watched the movie Where the Heart Is? If you have, you'll know why I mention this in my defense!

Long story short, you're likely to encounter any one or more of these names in a single post. Because I can. It's my blog!

Something to Consider

Bad decisions make good stories.

Something to Think About

With any pregnancy, there are concerns. With any child, there are worries. When you have a diagnosis of Down syndrome, you know what to worry about. You know what to look for. You have a plan of action. With your typical child, there is no limit to the things that can 'go wrong' or 'happen.' There's no place to focus your worry and concerns. 'IT' will always be out there, waiting. You'll always be on guard. Even when the child is 55 and has grandchildren. With Down syndrome we have a battle plan. With Down syndrome, there is a finite number of things that can go awry. With a typical child, there's isn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm sticking with the Ds and taking the other two back to the hospital for a refund.

Head Above Water

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Thursday, February 24, 2011

Lots To Say

Jack's been discovering how his legs work! He's refining his 'crawl' to actually involve his legs, in a left~right~left three step fashion so that it actually looks less like a 'drag' and something more akin to an actually 'crawl!' If he's travelling 20 feet, I can count on the left~right~left action about every five 'steps.'

Here's a newsflash. On Tuesday night, Jack actually slept in his own crib. FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!!! I love how he sleeps with his little butt up in the air!
It made me uneasy to have him all the way down the hall, and I had a really hard time falling to sleep. The baby monitor alerted me to when he woke at about 3:30, and into our bed he went. Along with the Girlie who later said in true Girlie fashion, "You know, Mom. I don't really feel safe with him in his crib. I think it would be much better to have him here with us. I just don't feel safe with him all the way down the hall in his room. I couldn't sleep." Notice how she's perfectly comfortable claiming our bed as her own whenever The Beloved isn't home!

And here's another new skill...he's transitioning from a semi supported sit to a crawl! He's discovered that he can get away from me, his OT and his PT. I guess the therapy is paying off?

This big news came yesterday morning while I was getting ready for work. This deserves a drum roll...Jack crawled/dragged himself over to the Woody doll, picked it up, and without letting go of Woody, he transitioned himself into a sit, tall and erect... and while triumphantly beaming up at me, continued the fluid motion of falling right over sideways! Boy was he ticked! Such brief triumph so quickly turned to tragedy! I propped him back up with the Woody doll to sit, so I could snap a picture or ten, but he wouldn't sit up tall again...more of a "I'm safe in this position" slump!

He's doing really well with the soy milk. He gobbles it down like his favorite dessert! I'm having a little trouble communicating with his sitter. I thought I'd been pretty clear that Dr Elaine gave the go-ahead for her to feed Jack spoon food twice a day. I'd lined up a bunch of breakfast foods and fruits, and a bunch of lunch foods and fruit and veggies. Suggested she feed him breakfast at about nine, and lunch at about one in the afternoon. Put out bibs and spitty cloths and all of his paraphernalia for preparing to eat. First day went well. Second day...I asked how he'd done and she said, "Oh, I didn't know I was supposed to feed him every day." I keep her because she's really good with the kids. She's no nonsense with that mouthy Middle Little, gentle with The Girlie, and she has genuine affection for Jack. Plus, what ever she may lack in common sense, she makes up for in keeping~my~kids~safe!

In tattoo news, the moon is starting to de~scab. Pretty term, huh? Well at least I didn't photograph the days where it was all gooey, beige~ish, blood starting to decay alternating with dry, beige~ish, blood starting to decay flaky! There's a plus, right? It's at the point now where there are just a few tiny beige colored flakes stuck to it, it's itchy like all get out, and the white of the moon is shiny and smooth and the underlying inflammation makes it look pink. Next up is the stage where it scabs over clear and is itchier than it is now. I don't like this stage. Plus, the muscle underneath started feeling like I'd been beaten with a hammer. Happened last time too. Yep, I'm a big baby about this.
But you can clearly see by the redness how inflamed it is...so I'm really not that big of a baby about it.
Here is it today!

Wednesday night was Jack's second night alone in his crib. Until he woke up at 3:20 to eat. Then he was in the big bed! Thursday night he slept through the night! Yay! I checked on him often, twice encountering The Girlie on her way back from checking on him, and he woke up at about 6:30 when the rest of the household was in full swing, getting ready for school. The Beloved got home Friday night and quickly nixed the Jack sleeping his his crib thing. Who is this man??? He never, ever allowed either of The Other Littles to sleep in our bed! Yep, he's back in our bed...but he again slept through the night!
I'll leave off with with Jack's latest skill...pulling up to kneel at the coffee table!
Jack has not one but two top molars trying to work their way in. There are sharp pointy spikes on each side of his top gums...but he hasn't really been cranky! Here he is having a chomp on his favorite new chewy!
Happy, happy boy!

I love this goofy face!!!


Not a Perfect Mom said...

oooh, jealousy kicking in...Brooke's not pulling up to kneel...
but she does sleep all night...

CJ said...

He's doing SO well! I love the photos you post of him, he's too cute for words!! I love his expression in that last one!

myevil3yearold said...

Your Jack is such a doll baby! I love it when babies sleep with their little tushies in the air.

Also, love your tatt. I'm kinda jealous. I have wanted one forever. I want Crush- the turtle from Finding Nemo on the top of my foot. But, I am a big titty baby.

That movie came out close to the time of my first child's birth and being all hormonal I connected with it. I remember watching it while crying with some postpartum blues and Crush always made me laugh.

Tracy said...

Thank you Evil! If you want to read about the origin of the tattoo, it's in November 2010 Get it in Writing. It's a long post, but it explains the whole thing!http://stinkerie.blogspot.com/2010/11/get-it-in-writing.html I think if Crush moved you that much you should get the tattoo! Hahaha...I am still befuddled when I see this thing on my arm. I have always thought, and still do to a large extent, that tattoos are ugly and dirty, especially on women...but here I go again this Saturday to get mine EXPANDED one more time! And I show it to anyone who asks! It's a hobby now! Go figure! And I even know what I'm going to have done to it in a few more months! Tell you what...go to the tattoo parlor and have them zing a few lines on the top of your foot with a dry needle...if it doesn't hurt too bad...go for it!!!! Honestly, if mine hadn't had such emotion behind it, like you with Crush, I never would have done it! Just go for it...it's only skin! You grow more skin every day!

Ameena said...

You are one of the most amazing, dedicated, loving mothers I have ever encountered. This post and your entire blog has inipsired me so...thank you.