...And in the air, the fireflies, our only light in paradise. We'll show the world that they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along; singing Amen I, I'm alive. Amen I, I'm alive...

- Nickelback, If Everyone Cared

For All The Right Reasons Album

And I'm singing Aaa-ayyy-men, I'm alive!

William Leonidas November 12th, 2009
My only regret is that I cried so many tears while I waited for you.

"...I'll try ~ but it's so hard to believe. I'll try ~ but I can't see what you see. I'll try and try to understand the distance between the love I feel ~ the thing I fear ~ and every single dream. I can finally see it. Now I have to believe all those precious stories. All the world is made of faith ~ and trust ~ and pixie dust. So I'll try ~ because I finally believe. I'll try ~ because I can see what you see. I'll try, I'll try ~ to fly..."

Jonatha Brooke "I'll try"

Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Jeremiah 1:4-5

For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14

Monday March 5th, 2010

So Why Stinkerie?

It's simple, really. It's the first thing I whispered against my newborn little Dumpling's temple as I held him alone for that very first time. "There's my Little Stinkerie." And all was right with the world as I brushed my lips across his delicate dewy soft newborn-pink skin and sniffed at his sparse smattering of downy soft hair. Corny and sappy, huh? I can't help it when describing my new Little Puppy. But don't get used to it - I have been told I am "irreverent."

Anyway, it just came out and he's been Stinkerie ever since. As well as Stink Pie, Stink Pot, Stinkey Pete, Little Stinks, Stinks, Puppy, Ducky, Baby, Baby Head, Baby Head Jenkins, Jack, Jack-Jack, Jackie Boy, Jax, Snork, Snorkis, Snorkle, Billy Boy, Billy Bob, Bobby Sue, Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob, Will, Willie, Willister, and the name given by my mentor turned friend Beth - Snake. When I write to her I call him either The Snakester or Slither! And of course, Dumpling, because he is my Little Dumpling - warm and soft and comforting. It's alright to combine comfort food with baby names, right? Have you ever watched the movie Where the Heart Is? If you have, you'll know why I mention this in my defense!

Long story short, you're likely to encounter any one or more of these names in a single post. Because I can. It's my blog!

Something to Consider

Bad decisions make good stories.

Something to Think About

With any pregnancy, there are concerns. With any child, there are worries. When you have a diagnosis of Down syndrome, you know what to worry about. You know what to look for. You have a plan of action. With your typical child, there is no limit to the things that can 'go wrong' or 'happen.' There's no place to focus your worry and concerns. 'IT' will always be out there, waiting. You'll always be on guard. Even when the child is 55 and has grandchildren. With Down syndrome we have a battle plan. With Down syndrome, there is a finite number of things that can go awry. With a typical child, there's isn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm sticking with the Ds and taking the other two back to the hospital for a refund.

Head Above Water

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Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Lab work and The Underwear Wars

First thing after the Kidlets are off to school I go out early to get my labs drawn and to drop off the first of many 24 hour urine tests in two huge, heavy, ugly orange containers. I'd been expecting to have to do a 24 hour urine test with this pregnancy. I'd had to do two of them with The Youngest. Funny story...I was pregnant with The Youngest and The Oldest was curious about the big ugly container sitting in ice in a bucket in the bathroom. She was fascinated with the process of watching me pee in a cup - no potty privacy with toddlers - and then pour it into the big ugly container. Little did I know that she was really paying close attention. Later when she went to use the bathroom I went to check on her because she was taking just a little too long and she was being just a little too quiet. I rounded the corner just in time to see her pour her pee-pee from the cup into the big orange container. She looked up proudly and grinned. "I'm helping!" she announced!

After I dropped off the pee containers and got stuck with needles I hit the local stores to try to engage the enemy in The Underwear Wars. My underwear are driving me nuts. I'd finally thrown out the comfy maternity underwear when The Youngest was about 5 years old. I had a bunch of them and they were in good shape and comfy. As long as The Dear Daddy didn't see me in them, there was no point in tossing them out. But after my first 30 pounds fell off, they were no longer comfy. Just bunchy and wrinkly under my clothing. So I bought undies that actually fit and still covered my caboose and tossed the old friendly maternity undies. Dang I regret that day! They were like old friends, those undies. They'd been brand spanking new and a funny joke through my pregnancy with the Oldest and I'd kept them to wear with the Youngest. Seriously, I had a million pair of maternity undies so they really were in great shape. But if I hadn't tossed them with the first 30 pounds, surely I would have tossed them with the final 40 pounds. Now I was on a quest to replace them.

Only no body carries maternity underwear any more. No body. Not Wal-Mart, not K-Mart, not Target. JC Penney had them via catalogue only and they were available in packages of 3 pair for $18.00! Plus shipping and handling! At this rate I could afford to buy 3 pair and wear them throughout the pregnancy and hope I never lost a pair. This wouldn't do. Anyone who's ever even thought about being pregnant knows you change undies about 20 times a day. No, this would not do! I started scouring discount places like Big Lots! and Burlington Coat Factory, Ross and the like. No luck. Did you know that you can buy intimate apparel like underwear at Goodwill? I didn't either. Neither was I willing to place onto my body any clothing article that had already been that close to someone else's 'parts.' I had to find a solution. I trolled the online specialty maternity stores looking for belly undies. Oh now really? $34.00 for ONE pair of maternity underwear? Are you serious? Yes, they were serious. Crap!

A bit of good news is that I haven't spotted for the last few days. I've done at least four pee tests since I first found out. I guess I will stop with that madness finally.

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