NICU Take III

I was sitting there in the NICU holding My Little Bundle when I looked up to see The Dear Daddy standing just outside the entry to Jack's room. As he came closer his eyes were on his son. I could smell the soap from his 3 minute scrub as he leaned in to kiss me. It was just so good that he was home. He pulled up a chair next to us and wrapped his arm around me, us. After a few minutes of looking and eye wiping he asked again if he was really doing alright? Yes! He's been off oxygen for almost an hour. His vital signs are fine. He ate and pooped and burped and was doing just fine. He was even being allowed out of his box for a longer period!

I unwrapped Jack for a few minutes so his Daddy could see him. His tiny pink fingers wrapped around a giant finger when he touched his palm. His tiny little fingers couldn't close around my finger, much less his Dad's. The IV was now in the other foot, but it was capped off now. And he had a shirt on, and the socks I'd brought this time, lumpy from the IV hub. So we sat there staring at our baby. The Beloved spoke silly to him, just like he had to both of The Newborn Littles. What color are his eyes? "I don't know. He hasn't opened them for me or the nurse yet." He's awfully puffy isn't he? "Yes, but it will go away in a few days." I asked The Beloved if he wanted to hold him? "No!" immediate alarm in his eyes. "He's too small. I'm afraid I'd crush him." So we sat there holding each other, holding Will.

All too soon it was time to put him back into the Easy Bake. William's little forehead furrowed when his Dad's mustached lips kissed his nearly bald pink head. "Okay Baby Boy. You be good in your little box. Your Mom and I are going to get some rest." He kissed him again before the nurse lowered the top of the isolette, and I was struck once again by just how giant The Beloved looks to me, especially when framed by tiny little Jack in his giant isolette.

The trip back to my room was a hard one. I was in a lot of pain. The NICU nurse suggested that maybe I should stay in my room tonight, that our Little Bean would probably be with us by morning. I leaned heavily on The Beloved while we walked very slowly. Maybe I'd made too many trips on foot down that hall and back. Maybe I was in more pain than I had been. Maybe it was just that My Love was here now and I didn't have to carry it all myself.

We spent the evening together, soaking up the sight of each other. I took the NICU nurses advice and stayed put for the evening. When the night nurse came on duty I spoke with her on the phone and she assured me that she'd call immediately if there was any change to Jack's status. The Beloved looked exhausted. He was road worn and unshaven, but I pretty much like him that way. He was eyeing the roll away bed in the corner, but we both knew he would sleep better at home in a real bed. When he held me before leaving I breathed deeply of the sugar cookie smell in his jacket from his pipe tobacco. We held each other a long while before kissing each other good night. When he was gone I called the NICU for an update and was assured William was fine. No, he had not yet opened his eyes, maybe he was saving it for me? I went to sleep wondering what color his eyes would be. Olive like My Girlie, or blue like My Middle?