...And in the air, the fireflies, our only light in paradise. We'll show the world that they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along; singing Amen I, I'm alive. Amen I, I'm alive...

- Nickelback, If Everyone Cared

For All The Right Reasons Album

And I'm singing Aaa-ayyy-men, I'm alive!

William Leonidas November 12th, 2009
My only regret is that I cried so many tears while I waited for you.

"...I'll try ~ but it's so hard to believe. I'll try ~ but I can't see what you see. I'll try and try to understand the distance between the love I feel ~ the thing I fear ~ and every single dream. I can finally see it. Now I have to believe all those precious stories. All the world is made of faith ~ and trust ~ and pixie dust. So I'll try ~ because I finally believe. I'll try ~ because I can see what you see. I'll try, I'll try ~ to fly..."

Jonatha Brooke "I'll try"

Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Jeremiah 1:4-5

For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14

Monday March 5th, 2010

So Why Stinkerie?

It's simple, really. It's the first thing I whispered against my newborn little Dumpling's temple as I held him alone for that very first time. "There's my Little Stinkerie." And all was right with the world as I brushed my lips across his delicate dewy soft newborn-pink skin and sniffed at his sparse smattering of downy soft hair. Corny and sappy, huh? I can't help it when describing my new Little Puppy. But don't get used to it - I have been told I am "irreverent."

Anyway, it just came out and he's been Stinkerie ever since. As well as Stink Pie, Stink Pot, Stinkey Pete, Little Stinks, Stinks, Puppy, Ducky, Baby, Baby Head, Baby Head Jenkins, Jack, Jack-Jack, Jackie Boy, Jax, Snork, Snorkis, Snorkle, Billy Boy, Billy Bob, Bobby Sue, Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob, Will, Willie, Willister, and the name given by my mentor turned friend Beth - Snake. When I write to her I call him either The Snakester or Slither! And of course, Dumpling, because he is my Little Dumpling - warm and soft and comforting. It's alright to combine comfort food with baby names, right? Have you ever watched the movie Where the Heart Is? If you have, you'll know why I mention this in my defense!

Long story short, you're likely to encounter any one or more of these names in a single post. Because I can. It's my blog!

Something to Consider

Bad decisions make good stories.

Something to Think About

With any pregnancy, there are concerns. With any child, there are worries. When you have a diagnosis of Down syndrome, you know what to worry about. You know what to look for. You have a plan of action. With your typical child, there is no limit to the things that can 'go wrong' or 'happen.' There's no place to focus your worry and concerns. 'IT' will always be out there, waiting. You'll always be on guard. Even when the child is 55 and has grandchildren. With Down syndrome we have a battle plan. With Down syndrome, there is a finite number of things that can go awry. With a typical child, there's isn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm sticking with the Ds and taking the other two back to the hospital for a refund.

Head Above Water

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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Gassy Boy

Will is taking 5 ounces these days, but tonight poor William was having a screaming gassy tummy. It's awful when this happens. He cries so hard and so loud and turns twenty shades of red. It kills me to see him suffering so, and it happens so suddenly. I put him on the hard floor in front of me to work out the gas by drumming on his tummy and then pushing his knees into his tummy in clockwise circles to move the gas along. Jack usually stops howling when I start beating on his belly, but this time he was having sharp stabbing gas pain and then he'd tense his belly and start howling again with the trembling bottom lip. The Dear Daddy couldn't bear the screaming pain he was in either and joined us on the floor, bad back and all, bent over at the waist and leaning on his elbows to hold Will's bottle for him so he would relax enough that I could work on his gas. It is heartbreaking when he cries like that and I think his Daddy was about to cry too. Really. His eyes were wet. The Beloved spoke tenderly to Jack and stroked his forehead and made goofy faces at him. He sympathized with him, "I know Baby Head, that hurts. You have to get that stuff out of there. That's why Mom's pounding on your belly. It's okay Baby Head, you'll feel better in a few minutes." Jack never took his eyes off of him, even smiled around his bottle before going back to mad frantic sucking. Every few minutes he would tense up and bear down and the farties came rolling out in long toots. Once the gas was relieved, The Dear Daddy stayed on the floor, sitting now, playing with Willie and talking silly to him. Will kept smiling and smiling up at him. Then he gave him two really big grins! Both of The Olders were in bed and it was just The Dear Daddy, Will and I sitting on the floor playing together, but really, I could have left the room and neither of them would have noticed - they only had eyes for each other! And it makes my heart go pitter patter for The Beloved all the more.

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