...And in the air, the fireflies, our only light in paradise. We'll show the world that they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along; singing Amen I, I'm alive. Amen I, I'm alive...

- Nickelback, If Everyone Cared

For All The Right Reasons Album

And I'm singing Aaa-ayyy-men, I'm alive!

William Leonidas November 12th, 2009
My only regret is that I cried so many tears while I waited for you.

"...I'll try ~ but it's so hard to believe. I'll try ~ but I can't see what you see. I'll try and try to understand the distance between the love I feel ~ the thing I fear ~ and every single dream. I can finally see it. Now I have to believe all those precious stories. All the world is made of faith ~ and trust ~ and pixie dust. So I'll try ~ because I finally believe. I'll try ~ because I can see what you see. I'll try, I'll try ~ to fly..."

Jonatha Brooke "I'll try"

Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Jeremiah 1:4-5

For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14

Monday March 5th, 2010

So Why Stinkerie?

It's simple, really. It's the first thing I whispered against my newborn little Dumpling's temple as I held him alone for that very first time. "There's my Little Stinkerie." And all was right with the world as I brushed my lips across his delicate dewy soft newborn-pink skin and sniffed at his sparse smattering of downy soft hair. Corny and sappy, huh? I can't help it when describing my new Little Puppy. But don't get used to it - I have been told I am "irreverent."

Anyway, it just came out and he's been Stinkerie ever since. As well as Stink Pie, Stink Pot, Stinkey Pete, Little Stinks, Stinks, Puppy, Ducky, Baby, Baby Head, Baby Head Jenkins, Jack, Jack-Jack, Jackie Boy, Jax, Snork, Snorkis, Snorkle, Billy Boy, Billy Bob, Bobby Sue, Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob, Will, Willie, Willister, and the name given by my mentor turned friend Beth - Snake. When I write to her I call him either The Snakester or Slither! And of course, Dumpling, because he is my Little Dumpling - warm and soft and comforting. It's alright to combine comfort food with baby names, right? Have you ever watched the movie Where the Heart Is? If you have, you'll know why I mention this in my defense!

Long story short, you're likely to encounter any one or more of these names in a single post. Because I can. It's my blog!

Something to Consider

Bad decisions make good stories.

Something to Think About

With any pregnancy, there are concerns. With any child, there are worries. When you have a diagnosis of Down syndrome, you know what to worry about. You know what to look for. You have a plan of action. With your typical child, there is no limit to the things that can 'go wrong' or 'happen.' There's no place to focus your worry and concerns. 'IT' will always be out there, waiting. You'll always be on guard. Even when the child is 55 and has grandchildren. With Down syndrome we have a battle plan. With Down syndrome, there is a finite number of things that can go awry. With a typical child, there's isn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm sticking with the Ds and taking the other two back to the hospital for a refund.

Head Above Water

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Saturday, March 6, 2010

Will's Week

The smiley boy has been just that - smiley! On Monday I was holding him and feeding him a bottle when The Middle came bounding in the door from school. Now Will takes this eating thing very seriously, and gets cranky really fast if the bottle is removed from his lips for any reason. He'll tell you about it immediately with the crinkled red face and the "Eeeenk! Eeeenk! Eeeenk!" cry. It doesn't matter how noisy the house is and it could fall down around his ears as long as the bottle GOES NO WHERE! So the Whirling Dervish comes flying in amid the noise only a seven year old boy can generate and plonks a big, wet, rough kiss on Will's forehead. Will's eyes fly open! He sees who it is and - what's this? He breaks the death grip of suction on the bottle clamped between his gums and grinned up at The Middle! A big wiggly gummy grin that shot sunlight out at all angles! Then he frantically sucked his bottle back into his mouth to double time it to make up for lost nutrition! That was close - he could have starved to death!

In the evening, The Dear Daddy had Willie up on the couch to play. He marvelled that Will went from pile-driving his little feet into his ribs for a solid 30 minutes to deeply sound asleep in an instant. Kick-kick-kick-snoring! Babies!

On Tuesday morning The Willister rousted me from sleep with the hungry noises. I went to fetch him from his cradle and he beamed up at me! He's never greeted me with a smile before, especially first thing in the morning when nourishment must be a made the top priority or calamity will surely strike! Then back to the hungry noises.

Willie boy has gotten into the habit of holding on to his burps. This requires that I employ a variety of tactics to get it out of him. I pat him. I hold him over my shoulder and beat the tarnation of out him. I sit him upright on my knee and pat him. And bounce him. I hold him semi-reclining and whack his back. One trick that sometimes works is to hold him under his arm pits and bounce him up and down in the air. This usually gets a smile out of him, but today, Wednesday, he started making some "Ha! Ha! Ha!" sounds. If he could have gotten some volume behind his breath he would have been laughing!

Thursday morning brought more pleasantness with the morning wake up call. Will was laying in his cradle just making happy noises. I think he may have been celebrating turning 16 weeks old by experimenting with what sounds he could make and he was having a happy time of it! He never did cry to get up to eat. I laid there in my warm bed for a while listening to this new magic. When I went to get him up he gave me the biggest, full bodied wiggliest grin! This baby is so much fun! And! Best of all, he's NOT a morning person! His diaper held a surprise too. His little poop was solid. Not squish - solid! And HUGE! How did that giant thing come out of little Will?

The Jackster finished out his week with more smiling, cooing and merry making. He coos at The Daddy, The Littles, Me, toys, the mobile, the dogs...and to himself!

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