Yesterday morning The Little Jack-Snack woke up with some serious green crusties all but sealing both eyes shut. I smeared some water based super mild makeup remover over both eyes and let it sit for ten minutes, and then wiped it all away with nary a protest from The Snackster. Checked a temp. Normal. Listened to his lungs. Clear. Tried to see into his little ear-balls ~ after three days of every doctor in the state probing everything from his eyes to his parts, he was having nothing to do with me going at him with an otoscope! And yes, ear-balls is a word! Google it!
So, my week long fantasy of actually getting some sleep this weekend was shattered first by the fact that I am on call this weekend, and second by Jack waking up fussy and inconsolable at four am. After trying for 10 minutes to soothe him and getting no where, I decided we'd better get up and be more aggressive with the Mommy comfort. And that's when he put his little palm on my cheek. It was hot. I took him to the nursery to check him over and as soon as the lights were on I was treated to the vision of my baby's face smeared with dried green gunk from forehead to chin. Yuck. Green snot from both nostrils. Greenish yellow crap in the lacrimal ducts. Temp? 104.0! Had liquid diarrhea for that diaper and squishy, more full bodied diarrhea a few minutes later. Off to the ER we go...
...checked in at 4:55am after finding a near empty parking lot and a slot near the door, which is really good because the temperature outside was 26.8. Called my on-call recruiter to advise I might be out of cell-phone signal range, advised she'd call my boss for any issues. Saw the nurse, who took the time to coo over him, didn't like how he looked, put an O2 sensor on him, 97% on room air, checked him over, had a squishy diarrhea diaper, got weighed, found out he's lost another 2 ounces for an even 20 pounds with a diaper on. Played with the O2 sensor cable, seemed delighted that Mommy could not take it away from him and say "No!" Got cooed over by every one from housekeeping to engineering, tried hard to stick his head between the rails on the gurney, got mad that I wouldn't let him. Next he tried to jettison himself over the top of the rails instead, laughed at me like it was a funny thing when I wouldn't let him do that. Saw the doc, who also took the time to coo over him. Doc checked him over, said the measle-ey looking rash now spreading across his cheeks and neck is viral, got cooed over by security while we waited for our 'script. Left. Called my on-call recruiter to tell her I was back in cell phone signal range, advised that no calls came in, my boss was not disrupted from her peaceful slumber. Went to the pharmacy, avoided vomit on the pavement right where I get Jackie out of the car, got Jack back into the car while avoiding the vomit and scrambling to figure out where I'd left the 'script, found it the top of my on-call bag in the back of the van where I'd put so I could find it while I was bungee-ing down the stroller I'd wheeled Jack into the ER in. Avoided the vomit while once again getting the baby out of the car, went into the pharmacy, got cooed over there, turned in our 'script, read 'Dear God, It's Me' to Willie while we waited. He liked it. Didn't buy it, had ratty edges. Got our 'script filled, got a syringe which wasn't in the bag when we got home, went out to the car to again avoid the vomit on the pavement while I put Jack back in the van, drove home through wakening Saturday morning streets while listening to Willie coo, and pulled into our driveway at 6:44am. And guess what the doc said? Sinus infection persists, for one, severely inflamed right ear for another, mildly inflamed left ear. And guess what he gave us? Yep, you guessed it! Augmentin. Said it would have been his first choice for The Willister. Damn that Dr Asshat. If I had the energy I would begin every one of my blog posts by writing his real name and then issuing culturally sensitive insults of the most damning kind, suitably proffered in the language of his national origin. But I don't have the energy and he's really not worth it. So he will remain Dr Asshat.
Jack's playing happily on the floor now that his fever is down, telling his telephone very loudly, "but, but, but, but!" alternating with "wub, wub, wub, wub!" I'm having coffee with sugar, a scoop of chocolate and obscene amounts of coffee creamer, some Excedrin maigraine for the caffeine content, and a toasted "Everything" bagel, piled high with fluffy comforting clouds of whipped cream cheese! The entire household remains asleep. Jack feels better. Life is good.
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