Scratching, Pinching & Biting, Oh Dear!

Clearly, we need some help. Okay...I need the help, because as both of Jack's nurses assure me, this neck pinching, hair pulling, ear scratching, jawline/chin biting and digging of his pointy little chin into the soft flashy part of one's face? Reserved for me alone. When I scoop Jack up out of bed in the morning to a lesser degree, or when I come home from work to a much a greater exponential degree, his little face lights up, his grin spreads across his face and his arms scoop around my neck while he burrows into me. And seconds later one hand is pinching my neck, trying to gain leverage to climb higher in my arms, and the other hand and often both are grabbing fistfuls of the finer hairs at the back of my head to pull himself higher, the pain of which is only matched by his forceful grinding of his chin into my cheeks. All the while he makes a breathy and excited "Ooooooh, oooooh, ooooooh!" sound. Yes, he clearly loves me to pieces. Yes, he misses me while he sleeps or when I'm gone. Yes, he very clearly is happy to see me and knows who I am. But it hurts. It hurts bad. I see stars. I used to be able to extricate myself fairly quickly. Lately though, more often than not, I need help! I can only grab one hand and keep from dropping him...or more likely, suspending him like a pendulum from my scalp and flesh! By the time I wrangle one hand free, I can hear the hairs tangled in his other hand popping from my scalp by their roots on their way to the floor. When I try to free that hand from my recently cropped mane, the first hand either grabs neck skin or another batch of hair! By this time Jack is singing out a chorus of "Eeeeeee! Eeeeee! Eeeee!" and exuberantly bouncing up and down in my now tenuous grip. This is about the time he sinks those little fang like bottom teeth into my jaw or chin. Those top teeth are real charmers, too! So please, help me out here! I've tried the disapproving scowl. He thinks it's funny. I've tried putting him down-he screams like his little heart is breaking into pieces. I've tried - yes I admit it - slapping his hand when he does this at nap time. That just ticks him off. I've done the nice, soft, gentle mantra for so long it isn't funny. By the way, he gets nice, soft and gentle for about ten seconds then his little eyes gleam and he digs into whatever flesh is handy with redoubled efforts. Help me. Please. I adore that he's so happy to me, but it's becoming a very painful and worry fraught event to come home! COMMENT, Please!