...And in the air, the fireflies, our only light in paradise. We'll show the world that they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along; singing Amen I, I'm alive. Amen I, I'm alive...

- Nickelback, If Everyone Cared

For All The Right Reasons Album



And I'm singing Aaa-ayyy-men, I'm alive!







William Leonidas November 12th, 2009
My only regret is that I cried so many tears while I waited for you.


"...I'll try ~ but it's so hard to believe. I'll try ~ but I can't see what you see. I'll try and try to understand the distance between the love I feel ~ the thing I fear ~ and every single dream. I can finally see it. Now I have to believe all those precious stories. All the world is made of faith ~ and trust ~ and pixie dust. So I'll try ~ because I finally believe. I'll try ~ because I can see what you see. I'll try, I'll try ~ to fly..."

Jonatha Brooke "I'll try"


Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10




Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Jeremiah 1:4-5




For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14



Monday March 5th, 2010

So Why Stinkerie?



It's simple, really. It's the first thing I whispered against my newborn little Dumpling's temple as I held him alone for that very first time. "There's my Little Stinkerie." And all was right with the world as I brushed my lips across his delicate dewy soft newborn-pink skin and sniffed at his sparse smattering of downy soft hair. Corny and sappy, huh? I can't help it when describing my new Little Puppy. But don't get used to it - I have been told I am "irreverent."



Anyway, it just came out and he's been Stinkerie ever since. As well as Stink Pie, Stink Pot, Stinkey Pete, Little Stinks, Stinks, Puppy, Ducky, Baby, Baby Head, Baby Head Jenkins, Jack, Jack-Jack, Jackie Boy, Jax, Snork, Snorkis, Snorkle, Billy Boy, Billy Bob, Bobby Sue, Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob, Will, Willie, Willister, and the name given by my mentor turned friend Beth - Snake. When I write to her I call him either The Snakester or Slither! And of course, Dumpling, because he is my Little Dumpling - warm and soft and comforting. It's alright to combine comfort food with baby names, right? Have you ever watched the movie Where the Heart Is? If you have, you'll know why I mention this in my defense!



Long story short, you're likely to encounter any one or more of these names in a single post. Because I can. It's my blog!





Something to Consider

Bad decisions make good stories.

Something to Think About

With any pregnancy, there are concerns. With any child, there are worries. When you have a diagnosis of Down syndrome, you know what to worry about. You know what to look for. You have a plan of action. With your typical child, there is no limit to the things that can 'go wrong' or 'happen.' There's no place to focus your worry and concerns. 'IT' will always be out there, waiting. You'll always be on guard. Even when the child is 55 and has grandchildren. With Down syndrome we have a battle plan. With Down syndrome, there is a finite number of things that can go awry. With a typical child, there's isn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm sticking with the Ds and taking the other two back to the hospital for a refund.

Head Above Water


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Saturday, August 7, 2010

I Guess I Should Start From the Beginning

Friday night we all piled into the car to go out to dinner. As we so often do, we kept our kids in the dark about the next days plans to avoid the whole "Is it time to leave yet?" fiasco. It's easier to just say "Put on your shoes, go pee and grab a toy - we're leaving!" And I have to admit that we get a certain amount of joy at in their expense suspense.

So Friday night on the way to dinner, The Oldest overheard us discussing a trip to the big VA hospital first thing in the morning. I had to go there to get fingerprinted so that my agency could send me there for work. The Dear Daddy decided to weave a tall tale for our Oldest Little. It went something like this...

"We're taking you and your brother there tomorrow so you can read to the old people and play checkers with them. It will be fun. Your mom and I have both done it. Think of it as a right of passage. It will be good for you." Dead silence from the backseat for a few beats. Then, "How long do we have to stay?" Depends, he says, If we drop you off in the morning, we'll pick you up the next morning. If we drop you off in the afternoon, we'll pick you up the next afternoon. While she was trying to decide which warranted greater horror, us leaving them or leaving them over night, The Dear Daddy waxed historical and outlined how all socialist countries demanded that their citizens perform community service and called it volunteering. She thought about this for a few minutes and The Middle Little piped up from the way back seat and said, "But it's not really volunteering if someone forces you!" That's right, The Dear Daddy said, but our current administration is leading America down the socialist path and these are some of the requirements. Lets get it over with. For this year anyway. I realized it was a lesson in times of change, but The Girlie was mortified.

She kept thinking of new questions throughout dinner. Where would they sleep? Remember when you used to go to work with Mommy at the burn center and you stayed in an empty patient room and watched movies? It will be like that, except with an older person too. How will we get dinner? And breakfast too, I guess? Well that depends. If the older person you're paired with goes to the dining room, you'll go too and sit with them, eat and help them eat, talk with them. If they get a tray in their room, you'll get one too. But what about our pajamas and going to the bathroom and having a night light and getting tucked in? Don't worry, they'll give you a hospital gown to sleep in. And there's a bathroom right there in the room! There's probably a night light so you can see when you help your older person up to the bathroom. But don't worry, you can probably kiss the person good night and consider that your tuck in. She was none to keen on kissing a stranger good night.

I kept waiting for him to let her off the hook, but he didn't. I kept waiting for her to call his bluff, but she didn't. I just knew any minute she would turn to me and say, as she so often does when he tells her anything, "Mom, that's not really true, is it?" But she didn't! As long as she wasn't really upset, I saw no harm in letting the tale play out.

Back at home after dinner, The Dear Daddy bustled them both off to bed "Because you have to get a good night's sleep. You're going to be busy tomorrow and we have to leave early to get the VA hospital in the morning."

And when morning came, he woke them with cheerful "Get up! We need to get going! It's your big day at the VA hospital!" And we were out the door by 8:15. Good thing, too. The fingerprinting was supposed to last until 1:00 pm, but they stopped processing people at 11:15, just 45 minutes after we arrived.

The grounds of the VA in Los Angeles are sprawling. The first thing we saw was an ancient church, which stupidly, I did not take a picture of! Here are some pictures I did take when I was finished with the fingerprinting. And by the way, The Girlie finally knew the jig was up when I got out of the car alone. The Pod said proudly, "I knew it all along Mom. You kept smiling at Dad, so I knew it was a joke!"The kids thought these giant sprawling trees and their exposed roots were awesome.
And they climbed all over them, and the groundsman said it was perfectly okay, "Let them be chir-ren. Lawd knows it's good to see chir-ren here!" I instantly liked him!What is he up to now?

"Hey Daddy! This is not funny!"

"Oh! Hey! Maybe it is funny! Yeah! It's funny!"

And this was also great fun but The Dear Daddy still refuses to let me post his handsome face!

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