...And in the air, the fireflies, our only light in paradise. We'll show the world that they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along; singing Amen I, I'm alive. Amen I, I'm alive...

- Nickelback, If Everyone Cared

For All The Right Reasons Album

And I'm singing Aaa-ayyy-men, I'm alive!

William Leonidas November 12th, 2009
My only regret is that I cried so many tears while I waited for you.

"...I'll try ~ but it's so hard to believe. I'll try ~ but I can't see what you see. I'll try and try to understand the distance between the love I feel ~ the thing I fear ~ and every single dream. I can finally see it. Now I have to believe all those precious stories. All the world is made of faith ~ and trust ~ and pixie dust. So I'll try ~ because I finally believe. I'll try ~ because I can see what you see. I'll try, I'll try ~ to fly..."

Jonatha Brooke "I'll try"

Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Jeremiah 1:4-5

For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14

Monday March 5th, 2010

So Why Stinkerie?

It's simple, really. It's the first thing I whispered against my newborn little Dumpling's temple as I held him alone for that very first time. "There's my Little Stinkerie." And all was right with the world as I brushed my lips across his delicate dewy soft newborn-pink skin and sniffed at his sparse smattering of downy soft hair. Corny and sappy, huh? I can't help it when describing my new Little Puppy. But don't get used to it - I have been told I am "irreverent."

Anyway, it just came out and he's been Stinkerie ever since. As well as Stink Pie, Stink Pot, Stinkey Pete, Little Stinks, Stinks, Puppy, Ducky, Baby, Baby Head, Baby Head Jenkins, Jack, Jack-Jack, Jackie Boy, Jax, Snork, Snorkis, Snorkle, Billy Boy, Billy Bob, Bobby Sue, Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob, Will, Willie, Willister, and the name given by my mentor turned friend Beth - Snake. When I write to her I call him either The Snakester or Slither! And of course, Dumpling, because he is my Little Dumpling - warm and soft and comforting. It's alright to combine comfort food with baby names, right? Have you ever watched the movie Where the Heart Is? If you have, you'll know why I mention this in my defense!

Long story short, you're likely to encounter any one or more of these names in a single post. Because I can. It's my blog!

Something to Consider

Bad decisions make good stories.

Something to Think About

With any pregnancy, there are concerns. With any child, there are worries. When you have a diagnosis of Down syndrome, you know what to worry about. You know what to look for. You have a plan of action. With your typical child, there is no limit to the things that can 'go wrong' or 'happen.' There's no place to focus your worry and concerns. 'IT' will always be out there, waiting. You'll always be on guard. Even when the child is 55 and has grandchildren. With Down syndrome we have a battle plan. With Down syndrome, there is a finite number of things that can go awry. With a typical child, there's isn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm sticking with the Ds and taking the other two back to the hospital for a refund.

Head Above Water

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Sunday, August 29, 2010


I need a full time nanny. Oh, and someone to look after the kids. I'm feeling overwhelmed. I want someone to make sure that I am warm, dry, fed, entertained. Instead I was watching Hoarders and I had to look around. The house is a mess. And I could possibly care just a little bit less than I do right now. The thing is, Jack's ST is going to be here in the morning and I have not gotten any work, so the house should be clean, huh? What else am I doing with my time? That was sarcasm. Actually, what I need is a wife. Wives are great at making pretty, making sure all the loves in her care are doing awesome, breezes through the house picking up here and there while encouraging little words of kindness drop from her lips to those in her care to motivate them to also keep things neat and orderly...and underlying it all is the aroma of something delicious and lovely in the oven to serve her adoring family. Remember that needle screeching across your favorite LP? Cue that sound here...

So...since I am stressed and can't sleep, since The Beloved is nursing his sick dad back to health, since I am as we speak eating a Parmesan bagel toasted just so and slathered in real dairy cream butter, when I am done I am going to clean. I have Coldplay on the iPod dock and it's good. I'll let you know of my progress, and when this manic phase ends things will return to normal. In the meantime, Jack is rockin' out to Coldplay with his bad little self at almost midnight. Maybe I'll scoop him up for a spin around the room on top of the vacuum!


Denise said...

Oh my dear friend....I wish we could all have a "wife". I hope you get some rest and find some sort of peace soon. I don't think I have emailed you yet, but we got our goodie package and I LOVE the tshirt and button. The shirt is washed and ready to be worn and the button is attached to the side of my purse already. Thanks for everything. I can't believe you took the time to order it and send it to us. You rock!!!

To Love Endlessly said...

sign me up :-) Sure hope you made progress with cleaning. It always makes me feel better when I have a clean house.