...And in the air, the fireflies, our only light in paradise. We'll show the world that they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along; singing Amen I, I'm alive. Amen I, I'm alive...

- Nickelback, If Everyone Cared

For All The Right Reasons Album

And I'm singing Aaa-ayyy-men, I'm alive!

William Leonidas November 12th, 2009
My only regret is that I cried so many tears while I waited for you.

"...I'll try ~ but it's so hard to believe. I'll try ~ but I can't see what you see. I'll try and try to understand the distance between the love I feel ~ the thing I fear ~ and every single dream. I can finally see it. Now I have to believe all those precious stories. All the world is made of faith ~ and trust ~ and pixie dust. So I'll try ~ because I finally believe. I'll try ~ because I can see what you see. I'll try, I'll try ~ to fly..."

Jonatha Brooke "I'll try"

Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Jeremiah 1:4-5

For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14

Monday March 5th, 2010

So Why Stinkerie?

It's simple, really. It's the first thing I whispered against my newborn little Dumpling's temple as I held him alone for that very first time. "There's my Little Stinkerie." And all was right with the world as I brushed my lips across his delicate dewy soft newborn-pink skin and sniffed at his sparse smattering of downy soft hair. Corny and sappy, huh? I can't help it when describing my new Little Puppy. But don't get used to it - I have been told I am "irreverent."

Anyway, it just came out and he's been Stinkerie ever since. As well as Stink Pie, Stink Pot, Stinkey Pete, Little Stinks, Stinks, Puppy, Ducky, Baby, Baby Head, Baby Head Jenkins, Jack, Jack-Jack, Jackie Boy, Jax, Snork, Snorkis, Snorkle, Billy Boy, Billy Bob, Bobby Sue, Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob, Will, Willie, Willister, and the name given by my mentor turned friend Beth - Snake. When I write to her I call him either The Snakester or Slither! And of course, Dumpling, because he is my Little Dumpling - warm and soft and comforting. It's alright to combine comfort food with baby names, right? Have you ever watched the movie Where the Heart Is? If you have, you'll know why I mention this in my defense!

Long story short, you're likely to encounter any one or more of these names in a single post. Because I can. It's my blog!

Something to Consider

Bad decisions make good stories.

Something to Think About

With any pregnancy, there are concerns. With any child, there are worries. When you have a diagnosis of Down syndrome, you know what to worry about. You know what to look for. You have a plan of action. With your typical child, there is no limit to the things that can 'go wrong' or 'happen.' There's no place to focus your worry and concerns. 'IT' will always be out there, waiting. You'll always be on guard. Even when the child is 55 and has grandchildren. With Down syndrome we have a battle plan. With Down syndrome, there is a finite number of things that can go awry. With a typical child, there's isn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm sticking with the Ds and taking the other two back to the hospital for a refund.

Head Above Water

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Sunday, September 26, 2010

Another Night...

...and no work. It's gotten way past scary. No one is hiring veteran specialty nurses. They're all hiring the cheaper and inexperienced new grads. My staffer Doris says it's because no one has the money to afford insurance, or partially covered elective surgeries, and those like me who have lost our benefits cannot afford a simple trip to the doctor, much less to the hospital. The hospitals are getting less money and they are paying their staff less. I'm grateful that the kids are all insured. I've always had an amazingly good health plan, free from my employer, right up until I couldn't get my required minimum hours. COBRA is so expensive that it's prohibitive. If I could afford COBRA, I could probably afford to stay home and never work again. The Beloved's health plan sucks and his deductible is high, but he has it. Doris says that her NICU nurses are also hurting for work in numbers that she's never seen. She says the reason for this is that the majority of NICU babies here in this area are Hispanic. A lot of illegal aliens are having their babies at home, so they won't be registered as US citizens. I do know of one friend of a friend who chose to take her US born baby back to Nicaragua with her when she was deported. The only other choice was to leave her newborn behind with family that had been naturalized. While I absolutely abhor our open borders and what anchor babies alone have done to the economy of our country, it seems that our open borders are creating a double edged sword for the very people it's purported to have compassion for. I cannot imagine being in the position of having even an easy labor and normal delivery at home, away from medical assistance, all for the sake of flying under the radar. The risk to both mother and infant just boggles my mind. As a nurse it's a very disturbing trend. As a parent needing to contribute to the family income, the lack of work is extremely disturbing. I've always thought that a career in nursing was a guarantee of employment, however as the cancer of socialism sinks it's teeth deeper into the flesh of America's soft underbelly, it's only going to get worse. I have to ask people if this is the "Hope and Change" they were looking for.

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