...And in the air, the fireflies, our only light in paradise. We'll show the world that they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along; singing Amen I, I'm alive. Amen I, I'm alive...

- Nickelback, If Everyone Cared

For All The Right Reasons Album

And I'm singing Aaa-ayyy-men, I'm alive!

William Leonidas November 12th, 2009
My only regret is that I cried so many tears while I waited for you.

"...I'll try ~ but it's so hard to believe. I'll try ~ but I can't see what you see. I'll try and try to understand the distance between the love I feel ~ the thing I fear ~ and every single dream. I can finally see it. Now I have to believe all those precious stories. All the world is made of faith ~ and trust ~ and pixie dust. So I'll try ~ because I finally believe. I'll try ~ because I can see what you see. I'll try, I'll try ~ to fly..."

Jonatha Brooke "I'll try"

Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Jeremiah 1:4-5

For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14

Monday March 5th, 2010

So Why Stinkerie?

It's simple, really. It's the first thing I whispered against my newborn little Dumpling's temple as I held him alone for that very first time. "There's my Little Stinkerie." And all was right with the world as I brushed my lips across his delicate dewy soft newborn-pink skin and sniffed at his sparse smattering of downy soft hair. Corny and sappy, huh? I can't help it when describing my new Little Puppy. But don't get used to it - I have been told I am "irreverent."

Anyway, it just came out and he's been Stinkerie ever since. As well as Stink Pie, Stink Pot, Stinkey Pete, Little Stinks, Stinks, Puppy, Ducky, Baby, Baby Head, Baby Head Jenkins, Jack, Jack-Jack, Jackie Boy, Jax, Snork, Snorkis, Snorkle, Billy Boy, Billy Bob, Bobby Sue, Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob, Will, Willie, Willister, and the name given by my mentor turned friend Beth - Snake. When I write to her I call him either The Snakester or Slither! And of course, Dumpling, because he is my Little Dumpling - warm and soft and comforting. It's alright to combine comfort food with baby names, right? Have you ever watched the movie Where the Heart Is? If you have, you'll know why I mention this in my defense!

Long story short, you're likely to encounter any one or more of these names in a single post. Because I can. It's my blog!

Something to Consider

Bad decisions make good stories.

Something to Think About

With any pregnancy, there are concerns. With any child, there are worries. When you have a diagnosis of Down syndrome, you know what to worry about. You know what to look for. You have a plan of action. With your typical child, there is no limit to the things that can 'go wrong' or 'happen.' There's no place to focus your worry and concerns. 'IT' will always be out there, waiting. You'll always be on guard. Even when the child is 55 and has grandchildren. With Down syndrome we have a battle plan. With Down syndrome, there is a finite number of things that can go awry. With a typical child, there's isn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm sticking with the Ds and taking the other two back to the hospital for a refund.

Head Above Water

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Thursday, January 27, 2011

My Life Sucks...

...or so I should be led to believe. I went to my new job this morning to sign more papers...more on that in a while. To get there I had to drive through what once was the ritzy area, the Hollywood of the North end of LA County, the Bel-Air of our little hovel. When I was leaving there was a bus in front of me, one of those rapid transit things. On the back of the bus was the city's name splashed in bright colors, with the caption beneath "...Where the good life leads to!" So, clearly, my life is not good because I don't live there. Who woulda thunk it? My quality of life, my goodness, is now determined by my zip code. And the pisser here is that this city is no longer the end all and be all that they once were, and I seriously have some grave doubts about the worthiness of people's lives who do live there. I mean really, I've lived where I have for over 20 years, and in those 20 years, I have had people from this community really and truly, literally, say in all belief that they are better people because they live there.

I don't get it. Driving through their streets is scenic and green, and they are clean and well maintained. So are the streets in my neighborhood. There is a big police presence, just like where I live. There are thriving businesses and there are kids out playing on the sidewalks, just like where I live. And I'm pretty certain that their property values plummeted just like ours.

And if they're all so special, how come there was a rapid transit bus. Don't they all have hummers, beamers and lexus's-s-s-s-s? I went to a Whole Foods to buy Willie a nutritional supplement. I've never seen so many hybrids outside of a car lot. And Whole Foods? Cha-ching! But I like their politics, so I spent my money. Besides, they are the only game in town to find this particular supplement. More on the job in a later post.


Patti said...

Tracy, can you send me a pic of Jack for a slideshow I'm putting togther? psalms127.5@gmail.com THANK YOU!

Holly W said...

I've never even set foot in a Whole Foods...E complains about what I spend at the regular grocery, let alone if I wanted to feed my kids all organic granola hippie food where the chickens were only fed vegetarian organically grown grain..