...And in the air, the fireflies, our only light in paradise. We'll show the world that they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along; singing Amen I, I'm alive. Amen I, I'm alive...

- Nickelback, If Everyone Cared

For All The Right Reasons Album



And I'm singing Aaa-ayyy-men, I'm alive!







William Leonidas November 12th, 2009
My only regret is that I cried so many tears while I waited for you.


"...I'll try ~ but it's so hard to believe. I'll try ~ but I can't see what you see. I'll try and try to understand the distance between the love I feel ~ the thing I fear ~ and every single dream. I can finally see it. Now I have to believe all those precious stories. All the world is made of faith ~ and trust ~ and pixie dust. So I'll try ~ because I finally believe. I'll try ~ because I can see what you see. I'll try, I'll try ~ to fly..."

Jonatha Brooke "I'll try"


Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10




Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Jeremiah 1:4-5




For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14



Monday March 5th, 2010

So Why Stinkerie?



It's simple, really. It's the first thing I whispered against my newborn little Dumpling's temple as I held him alone for that very first time. "There's my Little Stinkerie." And all was right with the world as I brushed my lips across his delicate dewy soft newborn-pink skin and sniffed at his sparse smattering of downy soft hair. Corny and sappy, huh? I can't help it when describing my new Little Puppy. But don't get used to it - I have been told I am "irreverent."



Anyway, it just came out and he's been Stinkerie ever since. As well as Stink Pie, Stink Pot, Stinkey Pete, Little Stinks, Stinks, Puppy, Ducky, Baby, Baby Head, Baby Head Jenkins, Jack, Jack-Jack, Jackie Boy, Jax, Snork, Snorkis, Snorkle, Billy Boy, Billy Bob, Bobby Sue, Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob, Will, Willie, Willister, and the name given by my mentor turned friend Beth - Snake. When I write to her I call him either The Snakester or Slither! And of course, Dumpling, because he is my Little Dumpling - warm and soft and comforting. It's alright to combine comfort food with baby names, right? Have you ever watched the movie Where the Heart Is? If you have, you'll know why I mention this in my defense!



Long story short, you're likely to encounter any one or more of these names in a single post. Because I can. It's my blog!





Something to Consider

Bad decisions make good stories.

Something to Think About

With any pregnancy, there are concerns. With any child, there are worries. When you have a diagnosis of Down syndrome, you know what to worry about. You know what to look for. You have a plan of action. With your typical child, there is no limit to the things that can 'go wrong' or 'happen.' There's no place to focus your worry and concerns. 'IT' will always be out there, waiting. You'll always be on guard. Even when the child is 55 and has grandchildren. With Down syndrome we have a battle plan. With Down syndrome, there is a finite number of things that can go awry. With a typical child, there's isn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm sticking with the Ds and taking the other two back to the hospital for a refund.

Head Above Water


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Friday, July 24, 2009

Nursery Progress

I didn't call The Buttface all day. I'm still burnt up about the malicious joke and, to a lesser degree, the crabbiness on the phone.

Today I installed the floor boards in the main area of the nursery. Then Susie and I moved in the furniture! The Beloved Buttface has always had a grand time picking on me for having a penchant for too much furniture. But it has come in very handy! At our old home I had a tea room with matching pine shelves and dressers and a buffet, along with a tea cart (it was really a fancy decorative microwave cart) and a media stand. And it has aged over the years to a lovely golden patina. Perfect for sage green walls and toffee colored carpet! Yippee-skippee! So Miss Susie and I - okay Miss Susie - moved the dresser and two tall bookcases into the nursery, and my Mother's rocking chair that I'd used for both of The Littles. I pretty much stood there in the way saying helpful things like, "Watch your fingers! Don't smash your toes! Watch the paint! Okay, you're going to have to stand that on end to get it through there!" I'm sure Miss Susie found my help invaluable invalid.

Once Miss Susie had everything where I suggested, she moved it a few more times to other places that I suggested. And then a few more times again. Miss Susie deserves a raise! Once I stopped tormenting Miss Susie - I mean once I was finally happy with the placement of the bookshelves, the Lovely Daughter started filling the shelves with her old favorite books and three volumes of nursery rhymes. Apparently that pinkie-swear was magic because she said she was going to sit in the rocker to read to baby Jack. So it's only a long dresser and two bookshelves, but it's looking like a baby's room! I cannot wait to get the crib. I kept the crib we'd used for both of The Littles, but it was white. In the grand scheme of things it will be cheaper by far to buy a new Jenny Lind crib for $100.00 to match, than to buy all new furniture to match the crib.

I didn't call Buttface and he didn't call me, so when 5:00 rolled around and he hadn't shown up, I started thinking that maybe he wasn't coming home tonight; it's always good news when these jobs last longer because it usually means premium pay. Then 5:30 came and went. At 6:00 we walked down to the mailboxes and came back. Dinner was in the oven and there wasn't much else to do. By 6:30 I was sure he wasn't coming back tonight. Then at 6:45, I heard the key in the lock. I was about to serve dinner to the kids, and in he strolls. He asked what we'd done today and I said not much. He asked if I'd tried to call and I said no, to which he asked why I hadn't. I said between him being crabby on the phone when I did call him and the cruel joke he played on me Wednesday, I didn't feel like talking to him, and I continued serving dinner, setting a plate for him.

I went to take a bath instead of eating. I'm not supposed to sit in water, and I'm only supposed to be showering, but tonight I indulged in a bubble bath. That danged stitch has been infected since it was placed, so really, what harm can be done with one bubble bath? I think the kids must have taken him to the nursery to see our progress because that's where I found the three of them. He jumped right in and went to work on the door, and I showed him the moulding. He thinks we should get an awning for outside of the nursery window so it won't be so hot in summer. Then I served dinner for the two of us, noting that his plate was still spotless. It was a rather pleasant meal. Hmmm. What's up here? So after dinner he went right back to work on the nursery, cutting the moulding for the remaining floor boards and the door frame, and he cut the door to fit. We installed the door together. I'd already said thank you, but when he asked if I was happy with the work he'd gotten done I said yes, very, and thanked him again. I'll be really glad when he finally gets back to normal and stops with the Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde thing.

Once he'd stopped working for the evening he was pleasant and funny with me and the kids. He had the kids in fits of laughter and he was affectionate and joking with me. Just like normal. Once the kids were in bed he sat behind me on the couch to massage my neck, head and back. He made an attempt to massage my feet and legs but they are so swollen and puffy that it hurts too much to touch them. Once we finally went to bed, he was even cuddly and talkative. Then he dropped like a rock and was snoring.

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