...And in the air, the fireflies, our only light in paradise. We'll show the world that they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along; singing Amen I, I'm alive. Amen I, I'm alive...

- Nickelback, If Everyone Cared

For All The Right Reasons Album

And I'm singing Aaa-ayyy-men, I'm alive!

William Leonidas November 12th, 2009
My only regret is that I cried so many tears while I waited for you.

"...I'll try ~ but it's so hard to believe. I'll try ~ but I can't see what you see. I'll try and try to understand the distance between the love I feel ~ the thing I fear ~ and every single dream. I can finally see it. Now I have to believe all those precious stories. All the world is made of faith ~ and trust ~ and pixie dust. So I'll try ~ because I finally believe. I'll try ~ because I can see what you see. I'll try, I'll try ~ to fly..."

Jonatha Brooke "I'll try"

Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Jeremiah 1:4-5

For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14

Monday March 5th, 2010

So Why Stinkerie?

It's simple, really. It's the first thing I whispered against my newborn little Dumpling's temple as I held him alone for that very first time. "There's my Little Stinkerie." And all was right with the world as I brushed my lips across his delicate dewy soft newborn-pink skin and sniffed at his sparse smattering of downy soft hair. Corny and sappy, huh? I can't help it when describing my new Little Puppy. But don't get used to it - I have been told I am "irreverent."

Anyway, it just came out and he's been Stinkerie ever since. As well as Stink Pie, Stink Pot, Stinkey Pete, Little Stinks, Stinks, Puppy, Ducky, Baby, Baby Head, Baby Head Jenkins, Jack, Jack-Jack, Jackie Boy, Jax, Snork, Snorkis, Snorkle, Billy Boy, Billy Bob, Bobby Sue, Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob, Will, Willie, Willister, and the name given by my mentor turned friend Beth - Snake. When I write to her I call him either The Snakester or Slither! And of course, Dumpling, because he is my Little Dumpling - warm and soft and comforting. It's alright to combine comfort food with baby names, right? Have you ever watched the movie Where the Heart Is? If you have, you'll know why I mention this in my defense!

Long story short, you're likely to encounter any one or more of these names in a single post. Because I can. It's my blog!

Something to Consider

Bad decisions make good stories.

Something to Think About

With any pregnancy, there are concerns. With any child, there are worries. When you have a diagnosis of Down syndrome, you know what to worry about. You know what to look for. You have a plan of action. With your typical child, there is no limit to the things that can 'go wrong' or 'happen.' There's no place to focus your worry and concerns. 'IT' will always be out there, waiting. You'll always be on guard. Even when the child is 55 and has grandchildren. With Down syndrome we have a battle plan. With Down syndrome, there is a finite number of things that can go awry. With a typical child, there's isn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm sticking with the Ds and taking the other two back to the hospital for a refund.

Head Above Water

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Thursday, July 30, 2009

Oh the Endo & New Uses for Old Treasures

Yesterday I had my first appointment with the endocrinologist. I liked him. He was real and practical, not dogmatic. He reviewed my previous pregnancies with The Littles and went over the boat load of lab work I've had so far. He agreed with me that there's no reason to put me through the gut wrenching torment of a 3 hour GTT. Lets get right to it. I was his last appointment of the day because I'd been added on last minute. That meant I was there forever. When I finally got to leave, I drove straight over to the pharmacy to drop off a bunch of scripts. When I went back to pick them up today, the bag they shoved through the window was ridiculously huge - NPH, Lispro, syringes, alcohol wipes, lancets, strips and a glucose meter.

I'd been sitting at the computer trying in vain to find a crib to match the furniture in the baby's room. The finish I wanted was everywhere when we'd been hunting for our first ever crib and I'd had a really hard time finding white. That's why we'd ended up with the inexpensive Jenny Lind crib - it came in white! Now however I could find dark oak, mahogany, cherry, combinations of cherry and oak, slate blue and oak, and white. And a scary number of makers who are finishing cribs in black. Yes black. In a baby's room. Yuck! I finally did find a beautiful wooden crib in light oak - for $899.00! Dang, for $899.00 bucks that crib had better be able to breastfeed, burp and change the baby! And eventually help it with it's homework! So I spun around in frustration and my eyes landed once again on my old tea cart from a previous lifestyle before the Dear Darlings arrived. It looked to me, from this angle at least, to be the perfect height for a changing table. And it was standing in the as yet disaster that was our front room in a jumble of misplaced and shoved together furniture right next to the media tower, also a remnant from said previous life style. Standing there together like that, these two pieces looked exactly like the white combination changing table and diaper tower that we'd first purchased for The Oldest and recycled for The Youngest and was now ensconced in The Youngest's room as dresser. So I sent The Girlie to go fetch a dolly for me. And I took said dolly and pretended to change a diaper on the tea cart! And it was perfect!

When Miss Susie arrived, we - okay she - rearranged the furniture in the nursery once again, and then she hauled in my 'finds' and suddenly the nursery had a changing table and matching diaper tower! And since everything thus far had come from my tea room, it all matched and went perfectly together! And it was free! And it put an end to my requests for Miss Susie to "Let's just try this piece over here and move that piece over there!" Poor Miss Susie!

The Soon-To-Be-Middle is still kissing my tummy and saying "I love you baby." Yesterday he said, "Mom, you better call Heaven because an angel's gone missing!" Then he kissed me. He's been such a little fart lately, and then he does something sweet like that! The Girlie is still saying how surprised she is that I'm pregnant. She's taken to calling Jack her "little brother's new little brother." And I'm liking the name Jack more and more every day! Jack is having hiccups many, many times during the day, every day. It took me a while to figure it out. He's lying low and transverse, so the sensation is different than with either of The Littles. Stay healthy Jack!

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