...And in the air, the fireflies, our only light in paradise. We'll show the world that they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along; singing Amen I, I'm alive. Amen I, I'm alive...

- Nickelback, If Everyone Cared

For All The Right Reasons Album

And I'm singing Aaa-ayyy-men, I'm alive!

William Leonidas November 12th, 2009
My only regret is that I cried so many tears while I waited for you.

"...I'll try ~ but it's so hard to believe. I'll try ~ but I can't see what you see. I'll try and try to understand the distance between the love I feel ~ the thing I fear ~ and every single dream. I can finally see it. Now I have to believe all those precious stories. All the world is made of faith ~ and trust ~ and pixie dust. So I'll try ~ because I finally believe. I'll try ~ because I can see what you see. I'll try, I'll try ~ to fly..."

Jonatha Brooke "I'll try"

Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Jeremiah 1:4-5

For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14

Monday March 5th, 2010

So Why Stinkerie?

It's simple, really. It's the first thing I whispered against my newborn little Dumpling's temple as I held him alone for that very first time. "There's my Little Stinkerie." And all was right with the world as I brushed my lips across his delicate dewy soft newborn-pink skin and sniffed at his sparse smattering of downy soft hair. Corny and sappy, huh? I can't help it when describing my new Little Puppy. But don't get used to it - I have been told I am "irreverent."

Anyway, it just came out and he's been Stinkerie ever since. As well as Stink Pie, Stink Pot, Stinkey Pete, Little Stinks, Stinks, Puppy, Ducky, Baby, Baby Head, Baby Head Jenkins, Jack, Jack-Jack, Jackie Boy, Jax, Snork, Snorkis, Snorkle, Billy Boy, Billy Bob, Bobby Sue, Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob, Will, Willie, Willister, and the name given by my mentor turned friend Beth - Snake. When I write to her I call him either The Snakester or Slither! And of course, Dumpling, because he is my Little Dumpling - warm and soft and comforting. It's alright to combine comfort food with baby names, right? Have you ever watched the movie Where the Heart Is? If you have, you'll know why I mention this in my defense!

Long story short, you're likely to encounter any one or more of these names in a single post. Because I can. It's my blog!

Something to Consider

Bad decisions make good stories.

Something to Think About

With any pregnancy, there are concerns. With any child, there are worries. When you have a diagnosis of Down syndrome, you know what to worry about. You know what to look for. You have a plan of action. With your typical child, there is no limit to the things that can 'go wrong' or 'happen.' There's no place to focus your worry and concerns. 'IT' will always be out there, waiting. You'll always be on guard. Even when the child is 55 and has grandchildren. With Down syndrome we have a battle plan. With Down syndrome, there is a finite number of things that can go awry. With a typical child, there's isn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm sticking with the Ds and taking the other two back to the hospital for a refund.

Head Above Water

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Sunday, April 4, 2010


As I type I keep looking down at Will, sleeping in my lap on my bent knee, under the keyboard. His head sticks out so I can see him smiling every few minutes. I wonder what he's dreaming about? Surely such sweet smiles must be from memories of before he came to Earth, memories of Heaven.

After yesterdays stresses with My Big Boy, it turned out to be a rather relaxing Easter today. I knew as soon as I went into the front room to get the video camera that The Middle had already inspected his basket. I knew he would. He likes his time up in the morning before everyone else. It seems to set his mood for the day if he can kick around in his room before the house is awake. The rules are that since he wakes by 5 am every morning, he is to stay in his room except for the bathroom trips. To him, that means he is allowed to play in the bathroom. As long as he does it quietly. So, I saw the basket and knew that a few things were not in the same spaces that the Easter Bunny had left them. No matter. He didn't open anything and it was probably a fun time for him to see everything before anyone else. He could have at least pretended to be surprised though. Then again, I don't want to encourage those skills. Note to self!

The Littles had their fun with their baskets while I video taped. They opened their toys and started in right away with the choice videos the Easter Bunny left them. First up were the squeaky rodents followed by Scooby Doo and the something or other. There are too many to keep track of.

I am happy that they know parents hide the eggs. It is so much easier! They had quite the fun time scampering around collecting eggs and stopping to pose for me 'mid-find' to take a picture. My camera battery lasted right up until the last egg was found and not one picture more. Consequently we had to take pictures of Jack surrounded by eggs in the grass several hours later, and then of him batting at his Easter basket. Jack wasn't much impressed by the day's festivities. His Easter outfit had him annoyed though. It's one The Middle wore when he was tiny. It has a wide bib collar sort of thing in front and it kept getting between Jack's hands and his mouth. He grumbled and carried on for a good thirty minutes trying to go to sleep with his thumb, so I unsnapped the front and tucked the bib inside. Then he was able to get to his thumb unencumbered and went to sleep for a nice nap.

Both of The Littles now know how to peel boiled eggs! The Girlie only likes the white and usually gives the yolks to me. When I finally got yolked out, her brother was happy to eat them for her. They had a few times today where they worked together to make each other happy, and I did catch Miss Peach sneaking her eggs into her brother's basket at least twice during the egg hunt. It is due to the patient instruction on the part of Miss Peach that The Pod, or Podifer, now knows how to peel a boiled egg. She helped him get a toy out of it's package and he helped her figure out how to open a tricky tin of M&M's. I love it when they work together for their mutual good, but when they do it just to be nice to each other it is extra good!

We didn't do a big Easter dinner. We're saving our honey ham for when The Dear Daddy gets home. Maybe I'll even make some deviled eggs. When he called this evening we reviewed our day with each other and how the kids were doing. I asked him if he thought Will was much different than The Littles had been at this age. The Beloved has already said that Will cries less, and he says he smiles more and "He seems more ambitious. It seems like he wants to be up and about like he's got some place to go and something he wants to do. He's the funniest little baby!"

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