I was pulling into the huge horrid lot at Costco today. I was waiting behind a car about midway down the isle that took forever. Finally, the driver plunked the trunk shut, got into the car, started it, I saw the lights for reverse, and then I didn't. She put the car back into park, shut it off and got back out. Waved at me as she walked away. Dang. Then I spotted a premium slot just being backed out of right in front! Right in front. I couldn't get closer if I parked on the covered patio! If I could get to it before someone else. Yes! I did it! I was there! But there was a guy standing in front of it waiting for someone. This is where the Ooooops moment begins. The guy was waiting, for another guy pushing a huge heavy cart. A roundish guy with up-tilted eyes, a round face, uneven small teeth revealed to me when he smiled very broadly at me and waved because I'd waited for him to move before pulling into the slot. And this is where I am guilty of stereotyping. The guy who had been waiting looked perfectly able bodied. He had a brisk vibrant step, yet the other guy with the broad smile was pushing the laden cart. Of course. He was the cart boy. He has Down syndrome. Or so I thought. I should have just left it at that. But, there were no shopping carts and I wound up walking all the way back to where I'd originally tried to park just to find a cart. And by the time I got there, the guy with the big broad smile was coming toward me to return a cart. And there was that smile. The one that is so telling. The one that says, "I sport an extra chromosome." The badge-of-honor smile that no one else can or has a right to wear. There is was. Proof! So I asked him, "Excuse me, but do you have Down syndrome?" I fully expected him to say yes and then I'd smile and say my baby does too and all would be happy. But instead I heard, in a rather deep and surprised voice, "Why no ma'am, I do not." Oh. Okay then. I'm sorry to have bothered you. And I high tailed it out of there feeling like a complete idiot. He had the look. He had the facial features. He had an overweight, round body. He was smiling and pleasant. He was doing the menial work for others. So I put him in a box and labeled it. Shame on me. How can I dare to hope that others will give my son a fair shake in life when I myself slide so easily, so willingly, into the stereotype of Down syndrome as everyone else does? And just to set the record straight, I am completely aware of the double standard here in my use of the word "idiot." It too was once used as a medical term every bit as much as the R word. The difference is that anyone can be an idiot or act like one or feel like one or be idiotic. The word retard is always used as a barb, an insult, a hurtful word, and is always aimed at or used to describe a certain group of people who society sees as deficient, less than, defective. Yes, anyone can be an idiot. Even me. It's nothing special. It takes a remarkable person indeed to have Down syndrome, to wear it proudly in their faces, their smiles, their zest for life! I should be so blessed. Oh wait - I am! I have William!You go, Jack!
Wear it loud...
...say it proud!
I will always be in awe of you! Even if your mother does take pictures of you wearing a dirty collared onesie!
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Oh man, I would've run outta there too! And you weren't asking to be rude, you were probably just asking because that's what a lot of us do if they see someone that has DS. You try to strike up a conversation and learn a little bit more about this new world. Ahh well is probably all he thought. ;-) Your lil man is adorable in these shots!
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