...And in the air, the fireflies, our only light in paradise. We'll show the world that they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along; singing Amen I, I'm alive. Amen I, I'm alive...

- Nickelback, If Everyone Cared

For All The Right Reasons Album

And I'm singing Aaa-ayyy-men, I'm alive!

William Leonidas November 12th, 2009
My only regret is that I cried so many tears while I waited for you.

"...I'll try ~ but it's so hard to believe. I'll try ~ but I can't see what you see. I'll try and try to understand the distance between the love I feel ~ the thing I fear ~ and every single dream. I can finally see it. Now I have to believe all those precious stories. All the world is made of faith ~ and trust ~ and pixie dust. So I'll try ~ because I finally believe. I'll try ~ because I can see what you see. I'll try, I'll try ~ to fly..."

Jonatha Brooke "I'll try"

Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Jeremiah 1:4-5

For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14

Monday March 5th, 2010

So Why Stinkerie?

It's simple, really. It's the first thing I whispered against my newborn little Dumpling's temple as I held him alone for that very first time. "There's my Little Stinkerie." And all was right with the world as I brushed my lips across his delicate dewy soft newborn-pink skin and sniffed at his sparse smattering of downy soft hair. Corny and sappy, huh? I can't help it when describing my new Little Puppy. But don't get used to it - I have been told I am "irreverent."

Anyway, it just came out and he's been Stinkerie ever since. As well as Stink Pie, Stink Pot, Stinkey Pete, Little Stinks, Stinks, Puppy, Ducky, Baby, Baby Head, Baby Head Jenkins, Jack, Jack-Jack, Jackie Boy, Jax, Snork, Snorkis, Snorkle, Billy Boy, Billy Bob, Bobby Sue, Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob, Will, Willie, Willister, and the name given by my mentor turned friend Beth - Snake. When I write to her I call him either The Snakester or Slither! And of course, Dumpling, because he is my Little Dumpling - warm and soft and comforting. It's alright to combine comfort food with baby names, right? Have you ever watched the movie Where the Heart Is? If you have, you'll know why I mention this in my defense!

Long story short, you're likely to encounter any one or more of these names in a single post. Because I can. It's my blog!

Something to Consider

Bad decisions make good stories.

Something to Think About

With any pregnancy, there are concerns. With any child, there are worries. When you have a diagnosis of Down syndrome, you know what to worry about. You know what to look for. You have a plan of action. With your typical child, there is no limit to the things that can 'go wrong' or 'happen.' There's no place to focus your worry and concerns. 'IT' will always be out there, waiting. You'll always be on guard. Even when the child is 55 and has grandchildren. With Down syndrome we have a battle plan. With Down syndrome, there is a finite number of things that can go awry. With a typical child, there's isn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm sticking with the Ds and taking the other two back to the hospital for a refund.

Head Above Water

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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

PT Tuesday

The big news today is that William transferred a toy from one hand to the other! You go, Willie! To be honest, I cannot recall when either of the Two Oldests did this, or if I was even aware that they'd done it. It just wasn't on my radar to pay attention to those minuscule little achievements that are so major and happy making when Jack does them. If I had the energy I would spend some time feeling guilty about the fact that I don't know this. But I don't have it, so I won't do it! And really, knowing how I was back then, it may very well be written in their daily baby journals somewhere. I keep spying that box labelled in bold black Sharpie sitting there within reach on a shelf every time I go into the garage "KIDS JOURNALS." I am sorely tempted to get it out and take a trip down memory lane. The problem is that I don't have the time right now, and if I do get it out, then it will wind up somewhere else and I won't remember where. No, better to let that dusty box lie a few more months until life is quieter. At least I will know where to find it! Anyway, the point being, Willie transferred a toy from one hand to the other and it made me so, so very happy! It was a high that lasted for hours, over something so simple! And you have to know that I bragged about it to every one I spoke to either in person or on the phone!

The other news is that when Willie is lifted by his arms, he no longer has "complete head lag." Yep, he brings his head along with him! In the reverse action, when he's being lowered by his arms, he keeps his head up and over his shoulders instead of the top of his head being the first thing to meet the floor like it was just a month ago!

In other news, he has been eating the Enfamil Pro-Sobee for a week now, and while he is still a little more prone to spit up, his little bowels have figured out their purpose in life and he is not constipated anymore. His poopies are soft and mushy now like they should have been all along. He still curls up into a C shape and gets all red in the face when he poops, but that's just typical baby stuff!

And in other other news, I guess I'm ready to pack up the breast pump. It's been at least a week since I have pumped. It's just not happening. Once the factory shut down at four months no amount of herbs, guzzling water, and pumping every two hours was going to get it back. I know - I tried! But still, I am having trouble bidding adieu to this idea of breast feeding, or at least lacking that, giving him pumped breast milk. So I am trying to focus on what went right instead. First off and most significantly, I got to have another baby. We got to have those three days of semi-successful actual nursing from the breast. I was able to provide him with breast milk for four whole solid months. He is healthy and thriving and gaining weight. So why is this monolith of a pump still sitting here? I don't know. Maybe today is the day to pack it away. Maybe I can sell it on e-bay or Craig's list.

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