...And in the air, the fireflies, our only light in paradise. We'll show the world that they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along; singing Amen I, I'm alive. Amen I, I'm alive...

- Nickelback, If Everyone Cared

For All The Right Reasons Album

And I'm singing Aaa-ayyy-men, I'm alive!

William Leonidas November 12th, 2009
My only regret is that I cried so many tears while I waited for you.

"...I'll try ~ but it's so hard to believe. I'll try ~ but I can't see what you see. I'll try and try to understand the distance between the love I feel ~ the thing I fear ~ and every single dream. I can finally see it. Now I have to believe all those precious stories. All the world is made of faith ~ and trust ~ and pixie dust. So I'll try ~ because I finally believe. I'll try ~ because I can see what you see. I'll try, I'll try ~ to fly..."

Jonatha Brooke "I'll try"

Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Jeremiah 1:4-5

For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14

Monday March 5th, 2010

So Why Stinkerie?

It's simple, really. It's the first thing I whispered against my newborn little Dumpling's temple as I held him alone for that very first time. "There's my Little Stinkerie." And all was right with the world as I brushed my lips across his delicate dewy soft newborn-pink skin and sniffed at his sparse smattering of downy soft hair. Corny and sappy, huh? I can't help it when describing my new Little Puppy. But don't get used to it - I have been told I am "irreverent."

Anyway, it just came out and he's been Stinkerie ever since. As well as Stink Pie, Stink Pot, Stinkey Pete, Little Stinks, Stinks, Puppy, Ducky, Baby, Baby Head, Baby Head Jenkins, Jack, Jack-Jack, Jackie Boy, Jax, Snork, Snorkis, Snorkle, Billy Boy, Billy Bob, Bobby Sue, Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob, Will, Willie, Willister, and the name given by my mentor turned friend Beth - Snake. When I write to her I call him either The Snakester or Slither! And of course, Dumpling, because he is my Little Dumpling - warm and soft and comforting. It's alright to combine comfort food with baby names, right? Have you ever watched the movie Where the Heart Is? If you have, you'll know why I mention this in my defense!

Long story short, you're likely to encounter any one or more of these names in a single post. Because I can. It's my blog!

Something to Consider

Bad decisions make good stories.

Something to Think About

With any pregnancy, there are concerns. With any child, there are worries. When you have a diagnosis of Down syndrome, you know what to worry about. You know what to look for. You have a plan of action. With your typical child, there is no limit to the things that can 'go wrong' or 'happen.' There's no place to focus your worry and concerns. 'IT' will always be out there, waiting. You'll always be on guard. Even when the child is 55 and has grandchildren. With Down syndrome we have a battle plan. With Down syndrome, there is a finite number of things that can go awry. With a typical child, there's isn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm sticking with the Ds and taking the other two back to the hospital for a refund.

Head Above Water

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Sunday, December 5, 2010


It's been three weeks since the pink was added to my tattoo. It's been five weeks since The Beloved got his all in one sitting. His is a good 15" X 10" and at it's narrowest margins is much wider than mine at it's widest margins. His was healed perfectly within a week. Wound care instructions were aptly named. He didn't think of his as a new wound, even one that he's willingly gotten. I on the other hand continue to think of it as exactly that. A wound!

For round one I was only stabbed 52,000 times for the blue writing. The instructions were to remove the dressing after 2 hours and wash with antibacterial liquid soap, pat dry. Do this every four hours for the next four days, applying a thin coat of Aquaphor after each cleansing. After four days the scabbing should be minimal and then we were to apply Eucerin cream and rub it in well. The Beloved got his completely finished in one sitting, the same night I got round one. I know for a fact that he neglected his wound care because he flat refused to let me cleanse it after the first two times. I was diligent with mine, partly because I'm a nurse and partly because it hurt like a sonofagun and the warm water was soothing. Plus, I was absolutely fascinated with it!

So two weeks later we go back to the tattoo parlor and The Beloved gets the thumbs up that it has healed so quickly. I sit down to endure a full two hours of the pink ink stabbing. Midway through the H at the top right, I finally say that the blue didn't hurt nearly as bad as the pink does. Matt, the tattoo artist says, "Yeah. You didn't bleed as much that time either." Finally he decides to change out this brand new needle for another fresh out the package brand new needle. For a while it stops bleeding but it remains every bit as painful. Eventually it started bleeding heavily again, by the first letter of the second word. I was having visions of leaving and spending the rest of my life with a nonsensical half finished tattoo when Matt speaks up with a quiet voice but a straight face and says, "I don't know why it's hurting you so much. Are you having your period?"

My first thought was that this very young man, twenty or more years my junior, was sitting here calmly inquiring about my menstrual cycle with a straight face. Just as quickly, I appreciated the fact that he knew enough about his art to know that women are more sensitive to pain before and during their periods. "No. I already knew about that. Never do painful procedures like hot waxing right before or during your period." "Oh" he says. And we continue.

So it was no surprise to Matt when I popped into the parlor yesterday to inquire about what I thought surely must be an allergic reaction. All of the pink is bumpy and after three weeks, it still itches ferociously! He took one look at it and said that it was still scabbing, that I'm a slow healer, and pointed out the lighter, smoother areas where my shirt sleeve rubs. Even that area is still scabby, but eventually, all of it will look lighter in color. "It just takes time to heal, and you have delicate skin, so it's going to be longer." He pointed out the first bar in the F where the scab has fallen away and said not to worry. He said he's seen slow healers before, but that yes, it was taking me a bit longer considering that the lettering isn't that wide.

So while I'd hoped to post the completed work by now, here's what I've got so far!


Holly W said...

ha-and I didn't think you were the delicate flower type!! haha
One of my tats took longer to heal too, and even now (10 yrs later) it'll get itchy and raised a bit every now and then. Whatever ink that particular tat used didn't mesh with my skin...
and it's looking good!!
maybe next time you go in the young tatto artist will want to talk about menopause...or your sex life after 3 kids...

Tracy said...

Now that could be fun!

Melissa M said...

I'd really love to get a Ds tattoo, but hubby is not a fan of them at all, so I don't know if I will...