...And in the air, the fireflies, our only light in paradise. We'll show the world that they were wrong, and teach them all to sing along; singing Amen I, I'm alive. Amen I, I'm alive...

- Nickelback, If Everyone Cared

For All The Right Reasons Album

And I'm singing Aaa-ayyy-men, I'm alive!

William Leonidas November 12th, 2009
My only regret is that I cried so many tears while I waited for you.

"...I'll try ~ but it's so hard to believe. I'll try ~ but I can't see what you see. I'll try and try to understand the distance between the love I feel ~ the thing I fear ~ and every single dream. I can finally see it. Now I have to believe all those precious stories. All the world is made of faith ~ and trust ~ and pixie dust. So I'll try ~ because I finally believe. I'll try ~ because I can see what you see. I'll try, I'll try ~ to fly..."

Jonatha Brooke "I'll try"

Fear thou not, for I am with thee; be not dismayed, for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." Jeremiah 1:4-5

For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. Psalms 139:13-14

Monday March 5th, 2010

So Why Stinkerie?

It's simple, really. It's the first thing I whispered against my newborn little Dumpling's temple as I held him alone for that very first time. "There's my Little Stinkerie." And all was right with the world as I brushed my lips across his delicate dewy soft newborn-pink skin and sniffed at his sparse smattering of downy soft hair. Corny and sappy, huh? I can't help it when describing my new Little Puppy. But don't get used to it - I have been told I am "irreverent."

Anyway, it just came out and he's been Stinkerie ever since. As well as Stink Pie, Stink Pot, Stinkey Pete, Little Stinks, Stinks, Puppy, Ducky, Baby, Baby Head, Baby Head Jenkins, Jack, Jack-Jack, Jackie Boy, Jax, Snork, Snorkis, Snorkle, Billy Boy, Billy Bob, Bobby Sue, Billy-Joe-Jim-Bob, Will, Willie, Willister, and the name given by my mentor turned friend Beth - Snake. When I write to her I call him either The Snakester or Slither! And of course, Dumpling, because he is my Little Dumpling - warm and soft and comforting. It's alright to combine comfort food with baby names, right? Have you ever watched the movie Where the Heart Is? If you have, you'll know why I mention this in my defense!

Long story short, you're likely to encounter any one or more of these names in a single post. Because I can. It's my blog!

Something to Consider

Bad decisions make good stories.

Something to Think About

With any pregnancy, there are concerns. With any child, there are worries. When you have a diagnosis of Down syndrome, you know what to worry about. You know what to look for. You have a plan of action. With your typical child, there is no limit to the things that can 'go wrong' or 'happen.' There's no place to focus your worry and concerns. 'IT' will always be out there, waiting. You'll always be on guard. Even when the child is 55 and has grandchildren. With Down syndrome we have a battle plan. With Down syndrome, there is a finite number of things that can go awry. With a typical child, there's isn't. It's a crap shoot. I'm sticking with the Ds and taking the other two back to the hospital for a refund.

Head Above Water

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Friday, December 17, 2010

Help, Please

Please scroll down to Attitude on December 10th. Please tell me if you think it was "...a bit much for him." Because I really don't think so, but I'm kinda new to this dimension of parenting. Comments would be very appreciated!


Anonymous said...

I'm a mother of a 20 mo... so i'm not parenting expert. I have worked hard not to ever physically discipline my child (even though I have certainly wanted to!)... that is my personal approach, and I know a lot of parents have a different approach... the smacks on the hands are not "abuse" or "wrong" in my view, but just not how I want to parent.

I think the fact that it wasn't working after multiple times is more of an issue than the act itself... it is time to be creative and find a different way to keep the baby bundled up. they make those really warm baby buntings with hoods that would probably be easier to keep on... of course now they don't have drawstrings on them, so that makes it harder!

My daughter loved to pull on the wires to the speakers hanging on our walls in the living room. My husband was insistant that we just teach her to stop doing it... but no matter how many time outs, redirections, etc... it just wasnt happening. we finally went and got covers to go over the wires so she couldn't get to them. There are just times when you have to find another solution rather than try to force the kid to behave the way you want them to.

i struggle with this daily. what do you decide is a hill you are going to die on, and what do you give in on? I don't want to be a parent that gives in to a childs whim.... i want a child who behaves and does what i tell them... i definately don't want a spoiled brat of a child.

this is the hardest part of parenting for me... walking that line. my only advice in this instance is that if one line of attack isn't working, try something else...

and no, i don't think the fact that he has Ds is the point here... every kid is different, Ds or not, and every kid needs to be raised a different way... wouldn't it be nice if there was one way that worked for them all!


Tracy said...

Thanks Dannielle,

We've tried to limit the use of spanking to any behavior that is outright defiance, disrespect, harm to others or safety concerns. I too am, a believer in "If what you're doing isn't working, try another approach..."

We agreed early in our Ds pregnancy to raise Jack as we have our other children, but now that Jack is here, The Dear Daddy has a soft spot as wide as the ocean and has made all sorts of concessions for him! And I can't fault him either, because now that Jack is here, the terrific Daddy he's always been just shines even more than I ever imagined possible.

At the end of the evening we both agreed that the hat was no longer the issue...it was Jack's defiance and his determination to win the battle that made it on going. The hat was simply the vehicle Jack used to assert his will! I think The Dear Daddy was actually a little proud that Jack is learning how to be stubborn. "It will serve him well later in life. Our other two are not passive, and he's decided he won't be either."

My main objective in asking for help is to figure out how much Ds should influence our child rearing. And when in the time line to act. Is he too young for this or that? Should we have done this or that sooner? As I've said, we've been playing the "hat trick" for a few weeks now. What I had been doing was not working because it had turned into a fun game for Jack...when it turned into a battle of wills is when the hand smacking came out. It's kind of like when Jack started biting me. His curiosity reaction to a stern "NO!" made it clear that he was thinking about it. After trying to bite me one more time, very clearly to see what would happen, he responded really well to gentle stroking and saying "nice, gentle, soft" while I stroked his face and mine with his hand, and he didn't bite me again! I gave him a spitty cloth to chew on and that was the end of it.

Thanks again Dannielle, help from other Mommies is always, always appreciated!

Patti said...

Hey friend- did you realize you won a scentsy pet on my giveaway? email me with your address! oxPatti

Kim said...

Interesting that this has come up for your family now. I have a 4yr old with DS and a 17yr old typically...well she does have massive attitude at times ;)

Our situation is unique because my husband and I are in process of divorce, my Mother lives with us, and my soon to be ex and I have very different ideas of discipline. He is quick and I am the talker.

I believe with my little Miss that she "gets it" when she is told no. However there are other concepts that take longer for her to grasp.

I have tried the hand smacking but that seemed to signal if you don't like the way things are going then you can "hit" the person. So I am still trying to find what works.

My biggest issue is that she isn't verbal. She does have some words and signs but not fluid in either. So communication is our biggest hurdle so that I can teach and her to learn. She is stubborn at pre-school too so its not only at home.

I hope you find something that works for you and your family. I think it is one of those eternal questions of parenting, regardless of the child's learning capabilities ;)

I know that doesn't help but at least you know YOU are the only ONE! Lol!!!

Hugs from Kim and Miss T